


the top of the big night sky

by notdenisa



Series: soulmarks verse [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-07-28 02:57:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20056909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notdenisa/pseuds/notdenisa
Summary: Sasuke's soulmark is a boy's name. Naruto's wrists are blank.(now with an epilogue)





	1. Chapter 1

Sasuke's soulmark is a boy's name. It appears in the middle of the night, just a tingling sensation, but it wakes him up anyway. He darts to the bathroom, pulls up his sleeve and sees the name _ Uzumaki Naruto _ staring back at him. And, Sasuke might be just a child, but even he knows that that's not good, so, in a blind panic, he tries to wash it off, and when that does not work, scratch it off. Itachi finds him standing above the sink, his fingers and wrist bloody, terrified tears streaming down his face. He carries Sasuke out of the bathroom, the younger kicking and screaming, his body shaking with sobs. Itachi washes his hands and wraps his wrist and doesn't tell their parents.

They find out, because of course they do. His mother looks lost and unsure, but she recovers quickly, smooths Sasuke's hair out of his eyes and says, “Well, a soulmate does not have to be a romantic partner.” That makes Sasuke feel a tiny bit better, because of course, it doesn't have to mean anything, he was just being stupid, until he sees the displeased look on his father's face.

He starts to wear a leather band on his wrist, similar to the one his brother wears. He has asked Itachi about the name of his soulmate many times before, and has never received an answer, and, for the first time in his life, Sasuke thinks he might be able to understand. Because people are nosy, they keep asking and _ asking _ and Sasuke gets really good at beating them up really fast. After that, the questions get fewer and far between, and then stop entirely because Itachi murders their entire family, and for a long time, no one asks Sasuke about anything at all.

And then Sasuke actually meets his soulmate. He's loud and obnoxious and really _ really _ weird, but, he doesn't have a family either, and Sasuke hears his mother's words ring in his ears _ Well, a soulmate does not have to be a romantic partner, _and thinks, that maybe, maybe his mom was right, because Naruto might be able to understand the gaping chasm that has made its home in Sasuke’s chest, right where his heart used to be. Naruto never approaches him, and Sasuke figures he might also be scared of what it means to have a boy’s name on your wrist, so Sasuke practices in front of the mirror every night, says, “Hi, Naruto, I think you are my soulmate. It’s alright, though, my mom told me friends can be soulmates, too,” over and over again, promising himself tomorrow will be the day he finally approaches the other boy.

But then he hears Ino shriek at Naruto one day, after a particularly vicious prank the Uzumaki has pulled, “Huh, maybe that's why you don't have a soulmate! Who would want to spend the rest of their life with someone this annoying!” and, _ oh. _

He asks Naruto about it, and - to his horror - finds out that it's true, Naruto's wrists are void of soulmarks. Sasuke gets a little frantic about it, shakes Naruto by the shoulders, demands if the other boy has checked the rest of his body, because while he has never heard of such thing, a soulmark doesn't necessarily have to appear on the wrist, _ right? _ Naruto assures him that, no, he doesn't have a mark anywhere, teme, Naruto has checked, _ multiple times, _with a mirror and everything. And– that feels a little bit like a slap to the face, and a lot like losing the rest of his remaining family. 

The kiss - when it happens - is wildly unpleasant. It hurts, doesn’t really feel like a kiss at all, at least the way he imagines a proper kiss is supposed to feel like. It feels like getting hit in the face with someone else’s face. And, because Naruto’s mouth is still slightly open when he’s pushed, it’s wet and gross. 

It’s awkward, and everyone is laughing at them, and Naruto is yelling so Sasuke yells as well. He sputters and jumps away from the desk. His heart hammering wildly, a chant of _ This was never supposed to happen _ going off in his head. Naruto looks disgusted and embarrassed and Sasuke can feel his own heartbeat in his ears. He takes a deep breath and tells himself that this means _ nothing. _

Even though everyone calms down after a while, Naruto’s face stays beet red for the rest of the day. The worst part of the whole disaster, Sasuke decides, and he pledges to burn the boy who pushed Naruto alive for it, the worst part is that even weeks later, he catches himself wondering how it would feel to actually kiss Naruto.

It turns out that fate truly is cruel because Sasuke ends up on a genin team with Naruto. And it is excruciating, to realize that he was right because Naruto is annoying and obnoxious but he is also a friend. A good friend. Sasuke has to keep reminding himself that while Naruto might be his soulmate, he is not Naruto's. That Sasuke isn't anyone's _ anything. _

That, the moment he fulfills his destiny and kills Itachi, he will be well and truly alone in the world. He isn’t anyone’s soulmate, and soon he won’t be anyone’s little brother.

There are rumors, amongst other genin, about how Kakashi-sensei's soulmate is dead, that Sensei watched them die, and that's why he's so weird. There is no way to prove this, with how good Sensei is at covering his mark, and Sasuke desperately wants to ask him, to hear that it's possible to live without a soulmate, possible to exist after watching someone you loved die right there in front of you and not feel this terrible all-consuming pain during your every waking moment.

He puts all of his time and attention into training instead, feels himself growing stronger, quicker, smarter, but then Itachi nearly kills Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke understands that he needs a stronger teacher. He keeps his questions to himself.

Later, when his fist is buried in Naruto’s chest, and Naruto's blood is on his face, all he can hear is his mother's voice saying _ Well, a soulmate does not have to be a romantic partner. _He drops Naruto's unconscious body and with shaking hands pushes up the other boy's sleeves. Nothing. Naruto's wrists are clear, free of soulmarks. He already knew that, has seen Naruto's wrists before, heard Naruto admit that he does not have a soulmate, but he had to make sure. 

Sasuke furiously wipes at the tears streaming down his face and takes a deep, shaky breath. It's fine, it's _ alright. _ He doesn't need a soulmate anyways, especially not one as embarrassing and annoying as the dead-last. Naruto would only ever slow him down, so it's not really a loss after all. He gathers himself and with one last look at Naruto, walks away.

Orochimaru is– disturbing, and really _ really _ gross, if Sasuke has to be honest with himself. But he is also one of the legendary Sannin, able to teach Sasuke more than Kakashi-sensei ever could. He has also experimented on people, children, and while that in itself is terrifying, it also means that Orochimaru has seen his fair share of soulmarks. It means that he might be the only person able to answer Sasuke’s questions.

“Can I ask you a question? About soulmarks?” Sasuke asks, one day.

“Certainly, Sasuke-kun.” Orochimaru’s voice sounds like a snake’s hiss.

“Have you ever heard of someone having a soulmark, but their soulmate not having one?” 

“Hmm,” Orochimaru’s eyes narrow, and he looks right at Sasuke’s leather band, considering. Sasuke hides his wrist behind himself on instinct, and curses himself for it. “I can’t say that I have, Sasuke-kun. Are you sure they don’t actually have a soulmark? It might just not be on their wrist.”

“I’m sure. They don’t have one, anywhere.”

“Oh, that’s curious, really curious. Are they someone you know? Perhaps I could study them–”

“No! No, it’s alright, it’s just something I heard and got curious.” Sasuke interrupts, the mere thought of Orochimaru “studying” Naruto sending shivers down his spine, even now.

“Well, if you say so.” Orochimaru sighs, clearly not convinced.

“What would have to happen for someone not to have a soulmark?” Sasuke asks, can’t help himself.

“I have never encountered such thing,” Orochimaru responds, his eyes narrowed, deep in thought.

“Really? Even if the, person, well, wasn’t entirely human?” He’s letting in too much, he knows, but he needs to know.

“Not entirely human? Why, Sasuke, I am not entirely human myself, and I have the useless mark. I don’t see how one’s… humanness… would interfere with anything here.” Orochimaru touches his clothed wrist lightly, and Sasuke has the sudden urge to yank his sleeve up, to see who could possibly be this man’s soulmate. Instead, he asks, “What if your soulmate dies?”

“Ah, your mark fades, but it’s still there. You can still read it.” Orochimaru’s hand goes back to his wrist, as if on instinct, and Sasuke swallows. “Thank you, Orochimaru-sama.”

“Anytime, Sasuke-kun, anytime.” Orochimaru’s voice follows him out the door.

Seeing Naruto again affects him more than he would like to admit. Naruto looks different, older, his voice is deeper, but despite it all, he is still the same Naruto he left unconscious by the river. The fox is not as big a surprise as he should be, Sasuke supposes, but the creature’s words echo in Sasuke’s mind before he falls asleep that night. 

He dreams of the Kyuubi’s voice saying his mother’s words. He wakes up covered in sweat.

Later, when he kills Orochimaru, he feels nothing at all.

Taka get on his nerves, but they are strong, and as much as he hates to admit it, he needs them. 

His brother dies, and the feeling of relief and accomplishment he’s been waiting for for years never comes. He stares at Itachi's corpse and feels– alone. He presses his fists into his eyes and breathes out, fights against the scream that’s threatening its way out of his throat. He looks at his brother’s wrist, at the leather band so very similar to his own and reaches out. Before he knows it, the leather band is laying on the grass and he’s holding his brother’s naked wrist in his hands. 

He grips it tighter, his vision cloudy with unshed tears and drops it, let’s his brother’s secret follow him to the grave.

Madara’s words feel like arrows, piercing his brain. He feels like he’s drowning and there is no one here to help him. The images of his brother’s face keep flashing before his eyes. Itachi - gently wrapping his bleeding, torn wrist, Itachi - carrying him on his back after a day of playing, Itachi - standing over the corpses of their parents, Itachi - dead on the ground, his eyes open, unseeing.

He’s pretty sure he’s screaming, but doesn’t know how to stop, convinced that he might actually die if he stops. He wonders, hysterically, if he's ever going to catch a break from moments like this. He's hurting, all over, has been hurting for almost his entire life, and it seems like it'll always be like this. So, he lets himself scream and sob as his entire life's purpose falls apart around him.

Danzo’s death is the first one that actually brings him any satisfaction.

Then, the war comes, and people die, but fighting by Naruto’s side makes him feel whole, in a way that he has not felt in years.

Later, much later, when they are both on the ground in the Valley of The End, bruised and bleeding, Sasuke listens to Naruto talk, and he can't help it, says: “A friend,” and it's difficult to speak, it feels like he's scraping his throat raw, but he has to, has to make sure he is not alone in this. _ He can't be alone in this. _ “What exactly does that mean to you?” His eyes fall to where his hand used to be, where _ Naruto's name _ used to be, and he adds, quietly, “It was you, Naruto, my soulmark–”

He stops because Naruto makes a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob, his breath catching, and there are tears streaming down his face. 

“It was you, too, for me–” Naruto is laughing now, openly, but it still sounds like he's crying.

“But, you don't–”

“Kurama,” Naruto gets out, in between sobs, “he was healing it, at the time.” 

And, Sasuke starts laughing too, he can feel the tears on his own face, and his ribs hurt, but if he doesn't laugh he's going to lose his mind.

“I–, it was back, he gave it back to me, but, but my hand is gone now and–” more laughter from both of them, and Sasuke summons the last shreds of strength he has and crawls towards Naruto, presses his face into Naruto's neck and keeps laughing. It hurts, but it also feels like getting a little bit of family back.

“Sasuke,” Naruto's voice is hoarse and wet, “if you–” Naruto swallows, “if you knew? would it have–” changed anything? Sasuke closes his eyes, takes a deep rasping breath, shakes his head, then nods. He understands that knowing he was _ Naruto's _ , in the same way Naruto was _ his _ would've changed the way he felt, but is also aware that he had to do the things he did. That knowing would've just broken his heart in a different way. He imagines himself leaving Naruto behind, leaving his _ soulmate _ behind, and his breath catches on a sob. Naruto pushes them closer then, presses his hand into Sasuke's hair and says, “I understand. It’s okay,” and Sasuke tries his best to believe him.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has been beta-ed since the 9th September but I was too lazy to edit it and add the changes.
> 
> forever grateful for my beta AND cheerleader notlena, you are a goddess amongst humans.
> 
> that being said, all remaining mistakes are mine.

Naruto is there, when Sasuke is pardoned. He grabs Sasuke’s wrist while Kakashi is still talking and begins to pull him away, waving away the Hokage’s words. Sasuke is pathetically grateful. He sways on his feet, just a little, and it seems like the exhaustion of the previous days is only now catching up with him. They don’t take to the roofs, walking instead, and Naruto’s fingers stay wrapped around Sasuke’s wrist. It’s... not terrible. 

By the time they make it to Naruto’s small apartment, Sasuke is falling asleep on his feet. But, when Naruto hands him his old scratched hitai-ate he has to duck his head and close his eyes to stop himself from doing something as ridiculous as bursting into tears.

Naruto seems to know, anyway, pulls Sasuke closer and presses their foreheads together. They stay like this for a moment, and Sasuke keeps his eyes closed, can’t look into Naruto’s eyes, but it’s alright. It’s calm and quiet and Naruto’s warm hand is resting gently at the back of Sasuke’s neck. They don’t need to talk. This– this quiet closeness is enough for now.

Naruto pulls away first, says, “I guess you must be dying to take a shower, huh?” His voice sounds hoarse, and a little wet, but he’s smiling. And now that Naruto mentions it, Sasuke realizes that, yes, he desperately needs a shower. 

Naruto has a small bed, it's narrow, the sheets are rumpled, one of the pillows is hanging off the edge, dangerously close to falling to the floor. It must be his exhaustion, because even the mess on the bed seems inviting - but - one bed. Naruto must sense his train of thought because he yells from the bathroom, “I'll take the couch, the bed is yours!” 

Sasuke hasn't seen a couch when he walked in, but it must be in here somewhere. Naruto walks out of the bathroom and hands him a fresh towel. “I would change the sheets, but I don't have a clean spare, sorry.” He looks embarrassed, one hand scratching the back of his neck. 

“S’fine,” Sasuke says, tries not to think too much of sleeping in Naruto's bed, in Naruto's  _ sheets. _

The warm water from the shower feels wonderful on his aching muscles, and by the time he walks out of the bathroom, towel around his hips, Naruto has made the bed and cleaned up the room. 

“Here, pajamas,” Naruto says and hands him a bundle of clothes. When Sasuke doesn't react, he adds, a little awkwardly “These are clean, promise!”

“No, it’s– it’s fine. Thank you.” It’s awkward, terribly so. Sasuke takes the clothes from Naruto’s hands and swallows. He is not sure how to act around Naruto, now that they are like this. They are soulmates, and that’s– that’s a terribly big thing, and Sasuke does not know what that means, exactly. Not yet. 

The silence stretches between them. There are no more grand speeches to be delivered, no more battles to be fought, no more confessions, there is just - this - Sasuke awkwardly clutching a bundle of clothes and Naruto biting his lower lip so hard it might start bleeding, scratching the back of his neck. It is a little bit reassuring, the fact that Naruto seems to be as lost as Sasuke is, at the lack of urgency, in the foreign normalcy of it all.

“Uh, well, you can change here. I’ll just– I’ll go shower!” Naruto says and all but flees the room.

Sasuke waits for the lock in the bathroom door to click before he puts on the pajamas. It's a little clumsy, he's still getting used to the empty space where his arm used to be, but he manages. He makes to lay down on the bed and try to get some rest but– he looks around and there is no couch in Naruto’s apartment. He’s sure of it. He knows that he should probably let it go, that Naruto might have a blow-up mattress in the closet somewhere, but he can’t. 

Sasuke’s still sitting at the edge of the bed when Naruto comes out of the bathroom. He’s wearing pajamas and his cheeks are pink from the steam of the shower. 

“Oh! Is there something else you need? Ah, I totally forgot about something, didn’t I?” Naruto whines, face comically resigned.

“We should share the bed,” Sasuke says, and his voice sounds more confident than he feels. 

“What?!”

“We should share the bed, or I’ll take the couch. It’s your house, I can’t just take your bed.”

“Of course you can take the bed!” Naruto yells, “you are the guest, teme!” he spreads his arms and shakes his head as if it is the most obvious thing in the world.

“Tch, either we are sharing, or I’m not sleeping in the bed at all,” Sasuke says, because at this point Naruto is just being ridiculous.

Naruto lets out a frustrated growl and throws his hands up above his head. “It has been literal  _ years,  _ and you are still such an impossible asshole!”

Sasuke can’t help but smile at that. This-- this he knows how to deal with. “Whatever, usuratonkachi, you coming or not?”

“Whatever, I’m taking the wall,” Naruto grumbles, but he crawls under the covers, facing away from Sasuke. 

Sasuke goes to lay down and admits that, alright, maybe he did not think this through. Naruto’s bed is almost small enough to be a twin, and there is absolutely no way for him to lay down without touching Naruto. They’ve touched before, plenty of time, but it was either completely platonic, when they were children, or they were slowly dying from blood loss. It was never like this, in this weird, unspoken gray area. 

Naruto must sense his hesitation, because he turns to look at Sasuke and growls, “Hey, don’t chicken out now,” and pulls him fully into the bed. 

He ends up with his arm around Naruto’s middle, chest pressed to Naruto’s back and face pushed into spiky blond hair. He splutters and moves away, but Naruto interlaces their fingers and keeps Sasuke’s hand where it is. It takes a long time for him to find a comfortable position without disrupting Naruto too much and by the time he does, the blond is snoring softly.

In his squirming, he had managed to create a little bit of space between them, but now he finds himself pressing closer, almost unconsciously, his forehead touching the back of Naruto's neck and– he doesn't remember ever being this close to another person, not with this warm, easy intimacy. It should feel rushed, he knows, they haven't talked about this, not really, but Naruto is here, a warm steady presence, and Sasuke is asleep before he has a chance to talk himself into sleeping on the floor.

* * *

He wakes up on his back with Naruto sprawled almost completely on top of him, his face nestled comfortably in the crook of Sasuke’s neck. He panics, at first, before he actually remembers where he is. He makes himself take a deep breath, unclench his teeth and relax his muscles. The blond mumbles something and clutches him closer.

It takes over an hour for Naruto to wake up. When he does, he stretches, untangling himself from Sasuke, and his hand smacks Sasuke in the face. “Shit, sorry,” Naruto says, his mouth already stretching into a wide yawn. “G’morning.”

“Good morning,” Sasuke replies as he massages his cheek. Despite the assault, he does not feel the urge to jump out of bed just yet. He moves to lay on his side, facing Naruto. The blond is rubbing the sleep from his eyes, but when he spots Sasuke watching him, he offers an awkward smile. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes,” Sasuke says, realizes that he actually did, despite the small bed and unfamiliar surroundings. 

“Good, good,” Naruto mumbles, looking around, clearly searching for something to say. He doesn’t seem to find it and slowly settles down on his side, facing Sasuke instead. This up-close, Sasuke can see every freckle on Naruto’s face, all the different shades of blue in his eyes. Before he can stop himself, he reaches out to trace the scars on Naruto’s cheeks with the tip of his finger. Naruto opens his mouth, but doesn’t say anything, seems to be holding his breath.

The skin on Naruto’s face is soft and warm, the Nine-tails’ markings protruding just a little bit. Sasuke traces the lowest scar and stops at its very edge, finger hovering mere millimeters above Naruto’s lower lip. It looks soft, and for the first time in years, Sasuke catches himself remembering their kiss. They are close enough for Sasuke to feel as Naruto exhales shakily. He glances up, and by the look in Naruto’s eyes, he must be thinking about it too, his eyes focused on Sasuke’s lips. 

Sasuke thinks back to his mother's words, to his father's displeased face and closes his eyes. He takes a deep breath, moving his hand to rest on Naruto’s cheek and pushes himself closer to press his lips to Naruto's. They stay like this for a short moment, the room silent but for their breathing, the bedsheets still wrapped around their legs, until Naruto makes a soft sound, almost like he's in pain, and deepens the kiss, licking into Sasuke's mouth.

* * *

It takes three days for Sasuke to come to terms with what he wants. They are sitting side by side on the roof of Naruto’s building. “Naruto, I–” Sasuke starts, stumbles over the words, presses himself a bit more against Naruto's side, into the welcoming warmth of Naruto's body, “I can't stay here. I really can't, I’m–” he presses his lips together, cutting off the apology, refuses to apologize for not feeling at home in this place that brought him nothing but grief and nightmares.

“Oh,” Naruto shifts a little to look at Sasuke and furrows his eyebrows. “Do you mean– never? You never want to live here?” he asks, slowly, like he's working Sasuke's words over in his mind, and it seems like he's trying to hide it, but there's hurt and confusion in his voice. Sasuke knows, deep down, that this might be one of the last times they get to be together like this, but he can't lie, not to Naruto, not anymore. Even if it means losing this closeness only a week after he finally got it.

“I don't know,” Sasuke replies equally slowly, considering. He decides that he quite likes the idea of not having a goal, a certain end to strive for. For once he doesn't actually  _ have to _ know precisely what he wants. “I don't know,” he repeats, this time more confident.

Naruto is quiet for a long time, his eyes focused on the sun slowly setting on the horizon. He shifts, after a while, presses a gentle kiss to Sasuke's temple and says, quiet but determined, “If I have to choose between a life where I never become Hokage and a life where I lose you again– that's not a choice at all. You should know by now that I will always choose you, Sasuke.”

Sasuke doesn't know what to say to that, instead he touches Naruto's cheek with the tips of his fingers and kisses him softly, tries to convey the  _ thank you _ and  _ I love you _ through the kiss. He knows he succeeds when he feels Naruto’s lips stretch into a smile.    
  


* * *

It takes a week and a half for Naruto to tie up all of his loose ends in the village. While packing, he comes to the startling realization that Sasuke doesn’t actually have any clothes, or any belongings in general. He drags Sasuke through several shops, acquiring weapons, supplies and plenty of completely unnecessary things, if someone were to ask Sasuke. “We are not going on a mission, we are going on a  _ trip!  _ There is no need to be spartan!” Naruto grumbles, as he pays for a pair of incredibly soft slippers.

* * *

Sakura and Kakashi are the only ones to see them off. Sakura squeezes Naruto with so much force Sasuke is sure the blond will break in half. She mutters, “You better write every week! Every week, Naruto!” as she releases him and wipes at the tears gathering in her eyes. She looks at Sasuke and says, “You too!” Sasuke nods, and she squeezes his shoulder.

Kakashi ruffles their hair and ignores Naruto’s outraged cry, says, “You heard what Sakura said, right? Every week, or I will send out search parties to hunt you down.”

“Ha! As if we couldn’t dodge them!” Naruto exclaims, and is rewarded by a punch from Sakura, followed by a litany of threats.

Sasuke nods again, growing uncomfortable with Kakashi’s warm stare. He looks to where Naruto is dusting himself off, muttering “Alright, Sakura-chan, every week! I swear!” as Sakura traps him in another bone-crushing hug.

By the time Naruto manages to disentangle himself, Sasuke is itching to leave. Naruto must sense it, because he comes to stand by Sasuke and says, “Right, off we go. Sakura-chan, Kakashi-sensei.” He nods and waves goodbye and that’s that. They’re off. 

  
  


* * *

The farther they get from Konoha, the better Sasuke feels. He can actually listen to Naruto chattering about the things he wants to do and see while they're on the road and take part in the conversation. Naruto seems excited, buzzing with energy so infectious that Sasuke finds himself fighting a smile on more than one occasion. 

They settle in for the night in a small forest clearing. Naruto sets out the camp and Sasuke starts a fire. When they are done, Naruto joins Sasuke on his bedroll and turns to kiss him. Sasuke opens for him easily, moves a little so that they're at a more comfortable angle. Naruto's hands drift down to Sasuke's waist and Sasuke moans softly, gods, he could do this for hours, but the confusing pleasure of it, the feeling of his brain trying to desperately catch up with his body makes his head spin. Up until now, he has always,  _ always  _ been in control of his body. Be it pleasure or pain. But this, Naruto’s hands on his waist and Naruto’s mouth on his neck pulling sounds he never thought he could make out of his throat is terrifying. If he could only know what it is they are actually  _ doing  _ here, he thinks it would be easier.

“Naruto,” he says, pressing his palm against the center of Naruto’s chest, pushing, and even now his own treacherous body with a mind of its own seems to lean in to chase Naruto’s warmth. Sasuke steadies himself, putting some distance between them. “Huh?” Naruto asks, his eyes are still half closed and he leans in, as if to kiss Sasuke again.

Sasuke pushes with the hand on his chest, but doesn't have to use much force at all because Naruto straightens up by himself. “I don't know how to do this,” Sasuke admits, because it has been eating at him since the moment Naruto agreed to leave Konoha for him. Has been keeping him up at night, plaguing his thoughts like a parasite and he can’t not talk about it. Hopes that voicing the thoughts might help him just  _ figure it out.  _

“Do what?” Naruto asks, confused. 

“This whole-- thing.” Sasuke says, and feels his cheeks heat up. They are adults now, and adults have  _ things, _ relationships. He knows that much, but beyond that? He remembers his father being kind to his mother, touching her shoulders softly, but that's about it, when it comes to his experience with relationships.

“Thing?” Naruto sounds confused, so Sasuke says, “Relationship-thing,” and does not look up, an ant making its way across the forest floor suddenly becomes the most fascinating thing in the whole clearing.

“Ah,” Naruto makes a noise, and when Sasuke chances a quick glance up at him, Naruto's as red as he feels his own face is. “Well, there's dates, and gifts, flowers maybe?” Naruto mumbles, but he's looking at the ground, concentrating on digging a small hole with the heel of his shoe.

“Flowers?” Sasuke repeats, because, really?

“Well, that's what couples do, right? Go on dates, give eachother flowers? Or maybe it's guys that give girls flowers… but we are both guys…” Naruto trails off.

“Couples? Is that what we are?”

“Um, aren't we?”

“We are soulmates,” Sasuke replies, biting the inside of his cheek. Gods, why did no one warn him this was going to be so complicated?

“Well, yeah, but do you want to be, like, boyfriends?” Naruto asks, but he sounds unsure, hesitant, his voice breaking a little by the last word.

“I don't know,” it's the truth, he has no idea what it is that they are doing, and it's scary, just a little bit.

“Well,” Naruto says slowly, and lifts his head to finally look Sasuke in the eyes. “What if we take it one day at a time, huh? And see how it goes?”

This, Sasuke can do. “Alright,” he nods, and when Naruto leans in to kiss him again, Sasuke doesn’t push him away.

“Man,” Naruto mumbles against his lips “I'm never gonna get tired of this.” Sasuke agrees, and kisses the blond again to shut him up.

* * *

  
  


The next morning, when they're done with breakfast and about to pack up, Naruto mutters something about taking a piss and wanders off. Sasuke pays him no mind, too busy meticulously covering the firepit with sand. 

He's startled by the sound of Naruto's hurried footsteps.

“For you, my dear!” Sasuke hears, and when he turns around Naruto is down on one knee, a sunflower clutched in his outstretched hands, a huge grin on his face.

Sasuke reaches for the flower before he thinks better of it, and Naruto bursts into laughter, falling down on his back, his legs kicking the air. 

“Your face! You should have seen your face!” Naruto screams, rolling to his side, one hand on his stomach, the other wiping tears of laughter from his face. He's still giggling while he pantomimes what Sasuke takes must be his own reaction, mouth open comically, shaking hand grabbing an invisible flower. Naruto glances up at him, and there must be something in Sasuke's face, because he swallows his laughter and says, unsure, “Hey, it was just a joke. Here, let me just–” Naruto stands up and makes to grab the sunflower, but Sasuke takes a step back and presses the flower closer to his chest, suddenly feeling weirdly possessive of the thing.

“Hn, it's mine,” he says, tries to go for a dismissive tone and doesn't manage to convince even himself, instead he turns around, making his way towards their camp. When he sits down on his bedroll, Naruto is still standing in the same place, hand outstretched and mouth hanging open. Sasuke grins and makes a mental note to find some water for the flower.

* * *

  
  


It’s three days into their journey when Naruto makes them stop at the nearest inn. Sasuke knows, logically, that they will need to start taking missions eventually, that their money won’t last long if they stay at every inn they pass but even he can’t resist the thought of a hot meal and a night spent in an actual bed.

When they enter, Naruto makes a beeline towards the innkeeper. When Sasuke catches up to them, he hears the man ask, “One room with two beds, right?” and Naruto nods enthusiastically before Sasuke has a chance to say anything. It’s alright, he tells himself as he follows Naruto up the stairs into their room. They’ve shared the bed every night since his pardon and on the road they had pushed their bedrolls together, so it is only natural that he would get used to sleeping next to someone. But, he has slept alone nearly every night since he was a little child, so one more night should not be a big deal. It  _ shouldn’t.  _ And, if Naruto wants to sleep separately from now on, that’s alright too. Sasuke can deal just fine, he should not have assumed in the first place.

It does sting, and that in itself is humiliating. Naruto has always been the one doing the chasing, and now, when it seems like he needs distance, Sasuke feels violently thrown out of their easy, familiar routine. 

The innkeeper opens the door to their room and says something, but Sasuke pays him no mind. He walks in slowly, and just as Naruto requested, there are two twin beds, separated by bedside tables. The innkeeper must leave at some point, because Sasuke can hear the door close behind him, but he’s too focused on Naruto. The blond surveying the room with hands on his hips. 

“Alright,” Naruto nods and walks over to the beds. Sasuke watches him move the bedside tables to the side and slowly push the beds together. Naruto looks at the two beds for a moment and then turns to Sasuke, a bright grin on his face and asks, “That should do it, right?”

Sasuke has no words for the feeling swelling slowly in his chest, so he takes the few steps to close the distance separating them and kisses Naruto, his hand tangling itself in spiky blond hair. When the backs of Naruto’s knees hit the edge of the bed and they tumble onto the mattress together, Naruto chuckles in between kisses and says, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

* * *

  
  


Sasuke wakes up with his head pillowed on Naruto’s chest. The blond is already awake, his hand gently playing with Sasuke’s hair. “Mornin’, sleeping beauty,” he says and Sasuke pinches him for it, just a little.

“Aggressive, I like it,” Naruto huffs out a laugh, but the kiss he presses to Sasuke’s hair immediately after is soft and sweet.

They stay like this, for a while. The thin strips of sunlight filtering through the blinds filling the room with a warm, early morning atmosphere.

“My mother–” Sasuke starts, swallows, and steadies himself. He never talks about his family, never talks about this, but Naruto looks at him calmly, makes a soft sound to show he’s listening, so Sasuke continues. “My mother told me once that soulmates don't have to be romantic partners.” 

He has no idea what brought this up, they're in bed together, the things they did last night are as romantic as one can get, and yet. It's as if the words have a will of their own and needed to be spoken out loud, with no control on his part.

“Hm?” Naruto moves a little and when Sasuke looks up at him, he looks serious and deep in thought, the way Naruto rarely is. 

“Well, of course they don't have to be. Siblings could be soulmates too, right? Or friends?” Naruto says after a long moment, tone sure and light, but there's something in his voice that makes Sasuke ask: “Back when you didn't know it was me, did you ever think of who you would want your soulmate to be?”

Naruto laughs at that, but it's warm and not at all unkind. “It has always been you, teme. Friend or boyfriend, I always wanted it to be you.” He leans in and plants a wet kiss on Sasuke's cheek.

Sasuke scoffs and pushes Naruto away lightly, but it does nothing to stop the warmth spreading in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Note:**

> can i get a wahoo?
> 
> (does anyone want naruto's pov for this?)


End file.
